


Where You Lay Calling

by PriestMikeyWay



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Black Parade Era, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Mikey needs a hug, Paramour Mansion, Self-Harm, Tbh they all do, deadassjdhfjdf, my chemical romance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26658958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PriestMikeyWay/pseuds/PriestMikeyWay
Summary: Mikey and the guys during their time in the Paramour. really angsty and really short please read with caution
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way (mentioned), I think - Relationship, Ray Toro/Mikey Way
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	1. The Blue Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall!! this is my first fic and its super angsty and self indulgent so please please please read with caution!! The following links are carrds for mental health if you need them or would like to take a look at them :)!! https://checkpoint.carrd.co/#  
> https://mentalhealthmatters.carrd.co/ https://bmhr.carrd.co/

After stepping into the mansion Mikey was filled with a sense of dread. He walked in with his bandmates and brother picking at his nails and tapping his feet nervously. 'This place is fucking gigantic' he thought as he glanced around the main entrance. All of them had gotten assigned to each of their respective rooms, Mikey getting the Blue room, infamous for being known to be haunted. He set his stuff down and got a feel for the room and decided that it would have to do considering that he would be staying here for quite some time.  
  
But that was weeks ago and they're now past the honeymoon period of getting settled in and checking out the place. Rather than sleeping in his room, Mikey now slept on the floor of his brothers' room for comfort from his nightmares just like when they were kids. Though the nightmares and thoughts were starting to get relentless and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't stand being in a kitchen without having terrible thoughts just by looking at a knife. He hated himself for even thinking about anything violent, even though he _knew_ it wasn't him doing the actual thinking part. 

He felt horrible for not even being able to look the guys in the eyes and talk to them properly. He just needed to keep his head above water long enough for them to finish the album and go home. Then everything will be okay, right? 

He couldn't tell if it was because of the house or because of something else unrelated but he needed to find out and get it to stop or else the mansion was gonna take him. 


	2. BlackBerry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kjbfjkgjdhjfkhk hey yall idk why these chapter r so short m sorry fhjgfhg n e ways im double posting today:D!! Its three am rn and my legs hurt like a bitch n e ways i hope u enjoy:3!!

Ray was finishing up laying down his parts for a song when Frank paced in looking worried. "Hey, dude what's up?" Frank hesitated for a few seconds and replied, "Have any of you guys seen Mikey? I only saw him when he was in here doing his parts and then he just... disappeared." brian was at the soundboard, " Well that's just Mikey dude, he's self reserved". Ray set his guitar down, "Have you called his phone?" Frank held up the small blackberry and waved it around a bit, "yep". It seemed like everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. Mikey never went anywhere without his phone, let alone go outside without the mansion without it.

Gerard started, "Ok so, this house is big as hell, right? we gotta split up, Frank, Bob go look for him upstairs, Ray come with me we're gonna go look for him downstairs, Brian could you stay here just in case he comes back here to look for us? He couldn't have gone far, right?" everyone looked at each other and went on their way. 

********  
"So have you noticed anything about Mikey lately?" Ray and Gerard, we're currently looking through the left bottom hallway, opening and walking through random rooms in desperate search of Mikey. "Hm? Whadda mean?" "Like how he's been acting and stuff dude. He doesn't even look me in the eye when we talk and he never really leaves his room. Tell me when was the last time you saw him in the room?" Wait no I take that back, when was the last time you saw him stay in a room with someone for more than two seconds? Gerard stopped to think for a moment then began to look panicked. 

"Wait fuck you're right, Ray this isn't good, w-we gotta find him come on." "Wait what do you think he's gonna... ya know" Ray started motioning his hands in circles. "I just- I don't know man we have to find him though this isn't good. Something feels wrong."

"fucking hell, where is he?" Gerard groaned. He was stressed and anxious out of his mind. They've been looking for him for at least an hour or so and met up with Bob and Frank and they couldn't find him at all. Ray shrugged a bit, they both went back to Mikeys room and opened up the door checking again, just to make sure. But yet again he wasn't there. 

"Hey! Gerard, come here" "Did you find him?" "No, but I found something of his that you might wanna see". It was a small yellow notebook with violent letters across it that read DO NOT READ. "...Should we be looking at this?" Ray held the notebook in his hands but it was taken by Gerard a few moments later. "I don't know man, but if it helps us with finding Mikey then" Gerard looked almost apologetic as he opened and looked through the notebook. Though a few moments later he was covering his mouth with a shaky hand and wide glassy eyes. "I-I need to find Mikey, I need to find my baby brother"  
"Hey hey hey dude what's wrong??" without speaking to him Gerard gave him the notebook.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big big big tw for s/h in this chapter please read with caution

‘I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing is working, my meds, my therapy, just talking to anyone. Though talk therapy never really worked when i come to think of it. I just shut down and act like I'm okay. What's the use of talking to someone when they're just gonna send you to another place where you do the same exact thing? I wonder how long I can keep that act up for. I guess this is why im spilling everything out onto a notebook huh. I can’t stand being around other people, not even the guys. God, I know I sound selfish but, I don't know what to do anymore. Well, I kinda do but I promised G that I would never do it again. Fuck it been so long. Everything’s becoming too much, getting out of bed, showering, hanging with the guys even when I’m not even talking to them. I can’t do it I just can’t I need to feel something, I need to feel something other than exhaustion and fear. If I don't I don't know how long I’ll last. I’m so sorry G' - M.way

Mikey set down his pen and notebook with shaky hands and set off to get what he needed most. Razors. He knew that he wouldn’t run into anyone, they were all still recording a few of their parts even though it was starting to get a bit late. He peeked out his door just to make sure though. He quickly navigated his way through the halls, opened the bathroom door, and shut it quickly behind him.

He opened up the medicine cabinet and saw medications and vitamins of all kinds, some of his some not. Then he saw what he was looking for, the razors. He grabbed the already opened package but, they were labeled with F.I in large sharpie lettering. Surely Frank wouldn’t mind if he only took one right? Mikey took the blade wrapped it in toilet paper and dropped it in his pocket. He sped walked back to the privacy of his room and shut the door reaching for the lock only then taking note that it didn’t have one. Mikey looked around and remembered that the storage closet outside the bathroom had one and he made a beeline for that. Mikey went in, locked the door, and turned on the dim light. 

The closet its self was fairly big. He could sit down and have his legs still a few inches away from the door. ‘Perfect no one will eve notice the lights are on’ he thought. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the razor and unwrapped it. ‘don't carve cut’. One cut, two cuts, three cuts four, he kept going and going and going until it just became a pattern. He didn’t notice that he was doing this without thinking, he didn’t notice that he was laying on the floor with his knees to his chest, he didn’t notice the blood dripping down his forearm and he certainly didn’t notice his friends calling for him.


	4. Not a chapter!!!

ajhgdajjhsgfjdgshg hey guys!!! im so sorry i havent been posting regularly!! schooln stuff has been kicking my ass and I've had no time to work on this :(!!! I'll try to update it tmmrw!!! love yall!!- xoxo corvid


	5. Persian Blue Curtains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh here it is finally ":3!!! sorry this took so long!! I hope you enjoy it this is the last chapter!!! Also there's been a glitch going on for me and this fic where it automatically just puts the endnotes as smth elsse so I'm gonna just put smth random in the endnotes so it (hopefully) wont do that.

Ray read it and re-read it and re-read it over and over again. Fuck fuck fuck he knew something was wrong why didn't he say something earlier? He grabbed his phone and quickly called Frank and Bob. 

It rang for a few seconds until a crackly voice come on " Did you find him, dude?" "No but you need to start looking faster, it doesn't matter if you think its a weird place or not just keep looking" 

"Shit- what happened" "I can't explain it to you now I'll do it later okay? keep looking" and he hung up with a beep. "Hey Gee come on we gotta go look for him" Gerard looked up at him with teary eyes and wiped his face, "Okay let's go" 

They check the room again just in case and then left. They walked through every hallway, even splitting up at some point until they got to a closet. Ray hesitated and tried to unlock the door. "Hey, Mikey? I don't if you're in there but if you are can you please open the door?" He waited a few seconds. And then he heard a groan. "Mikes?! Mikey hey mikes it's me Gee please open the door its really important" Gerard Looked back at Ray as if he was asking him what they should do.

Ray stood aside for a moment, 'fuck okay um'. "Okay, Gerard I'm gonna try and unlock the door" Ray started searching around in his pockets for a coin for, anything that could fit the lock. He felt the cold piece of metal touch his fingers and he grabbed it and slid it into the lock. He twisted it and slowly opened the door and dropped the coin. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He didn't want to. 

Mikey was curled up on the floor of the closet, his arms flat out on the ground supporting his head. He had a hazy look in his eyes and looked terribly pale. "Mikey are you in there? Mikey are you okay-" Gerard stopped dead in his tracks and looked at his little brother. His mouth was wide open and his breath came out in shudders. He quickly threw a hand over his mouth and ran out of the closet. Ray bent down and cradled Mikey in his arms "God, why didn't I say anything sooner". 

Another groan came from Mikey and he opened his eyes and croaked out a "Ray?" "Oh my god, Mikey what happened? why did you do this? why didn't you come to any of us?" Mikey turned his head to the side and hot tears started to roll down his face. " 'm sorry. I didn't wanna bother you guys. I didn't mean for it to get this bad." Ray felt his heartbreak a little bit more than it already was. "Mikey....." Ray hugged him as tight as he could and Mikey broke down. He started sobbing into Ray's chest while Ray petted his hair and shushed him. 

Ray pulled back his hand to brush his hair behind his ear when he felt something wet one it. "What the-" he looked at it and the palms of his hands were a bright red. "Fuck Mikey what did you do?" "I I, m-my arms" Ray stood up and looked around. "Okay, Mikey do you think you can walk to the bathroom with me?" "I-I dunno I'm sorry" "Hey hey hey no its okay come on" Ray scooped Mikey up bridal style and carried him to the bathroom. He sat Mikey on the toilet and started to go through the cabinet. "aha! He grabbed the bottle of rubbing alcohol and the first aid kit and got to work. 

"This is gonna sting a little," he said as he poured some of the rubbing alcohol onto the gauze. He started to clean off the crusted blood on his arm and Mikey sucked air through his teeth. Ray paused and cringed at the noise, "Sorry" "it's fine keep going" he continued to work until his arm was wrapped up in gauze and bandage tape. After he was done Mikey looked at his arm and nodded. He looked up at Ray and let out a tiny 'thank you'. Ray just nodded and was caught off guard when Mikey hugged him. He started crying again. Ray just petted his hair and waited for the cries to die down. 

He didn't know what to say anymore so he just said whatever came to mind. "Do you wanna see Gerard?" Mikey shook his head against Ray's chest. "I can't face him right now. I'm so tired." "You wanna go back to your room- " "No!" Mikey was looking at him with wide eyes now. "I'm sorry I just can't... go back there.." "Do you wanna sleep in my room then?" "Please." 

They both got back to rays room, it had a small crystal chandler, a deep yellow wallpaper, Persian blue curtains, and pure white bedsheets. Mikey shoved his shoes off and fell onto the bed and started hugging a pillow. Ray sat on the bed next to Mikey and asked him, "So... do you want me to leave or?" Mikey shook his head and moved over so that there was space for another person in the bed. Ray took the hint and crawled in next to him. They were both nose to nose now and is Mikey smiling wide. "Hey" "Hey". They both started giggling like idiots. Ray wrapped his arms around Mikey and Mikey did the same. Ray gave him a kiss on the forehead and rubbed circles on his back. "You're gonna be okay. I promise you that"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blech i hope this idea works :p Thank you so much for reading!!!-xoxo Corvid :)


	6. Chapter 6

HEY I HAVE NEWS IM TOTALLY GONNA BE MAKING A JET/CHERRI/KOBRA ANGST ONE-SHOT ME THINKS SO KEEP UR EYEBALLS PEELED FOR THAT- CROVID >:P


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